The good old days during diwali

Make a Smilebox scrapbook

An Altruistic Happiness

Some of the moments, some events can really make you realise your worth, your purpose and your inner strengths. My perception towards life has somewhat changed after being witness to a heart touching event last week.

What we see everyday as a monotous routine , as a life to crib about . Cribbing about , the work , the academics , the promotion , the rejection and the list goes on . We waste so much of our time and energy in worrying about the things that actually happen for the best, we lose so many of our good friends only because of our egoistical issues and we lose touch which so many good people in our life just because we hold grudges over the most petty issues.There is so much more to life. There so much that can be done for our people and such happiness gained by putting a smile on someone is so precious and is cherishable forever.

I happened to visit Bal Kalyan Swanstha . There is an auditorium build in for all the handicapped and mentally challenged children.This noble work is done by Rotary NGO. It is equipped with a karaoke , Audio visuals and other acoustics. The inguaration of the auditorium was done on the same day. It had 100 of children occupying that room and enjoying every moment of it program. There was karaoke , a puppet show , a short cartoon film and music .The happiness and the smile that every child had on their face was priceless.They also had provided the children with a bus specially designed for their convenience.

All these children were either mentally challenged or handicapped but still they had so much of enthusiasm for life , they faces were filled with happiness and satisfaction . There is so much we can learn from them. And there is so much that we can do for them. I salute all those benevolent contributors and I respect the work that they do .

I just wish and hope that we all come out of the shell that we have around ourself and look beyond . It is an achievement only when you can bring an unconditional smile on someone’s face.

Lets learn to give than to get all the time ..

God Bless

Cherished Tresures

Yesterday I was busy with cleaning my messy room (something very unlikely of me to do). Within the heaps of the mess I stumbled upon a big box, which looked very familiar. It was a box in which I had collected all the little things which had been really close to my heart during my school and college days. It had a lot of friendship bands, bracelets, handmade greetings, scrapbooks and a dairy. This diary was something that I used to write when I was in school. Unraveling the pages of which took me back to my school days. It had all the little notes of every little thing that happened in school. The names of all the friends in my friend circle (with the photos). Being an introvert I didn’t have a very big friend circle. Within that circle everyone had his or her own best friend. The celebration of friendship day was always very grand. Everyone had colorful bands tied around their hands. I remember preparing a special band for my close friends. We all used to prepare handmade bands artistically made with satins ribbons and decorated with small beads. Self made greetings with heart touching friendship quotes and poems. The celebration of friendship day meant so much to us back then. The scrapbooks were filled with friendship quotes, “Friend forever” written in capitals in bold. It all was and is so special I was in the flask back where I could visualize every moment with every friend. All the pranks played, all the secrets shared, the picnics the outings, the pajama parties, the birthday celebrations, all the freak out times, were so much of fun. As I was zapped back in to reality I realized that I have to catch up on so much. I haven’t been in touch with so many good friends of mine. As we get busy with other things with time we miss out on much so wonderful. That’s why we always crave for our old school and college days!

Looking back at time I realize that things change so much. We make new acquaintances at every step of our life. From these we choose some to be our friends, but with every new friend that we make are we losing touch with our old friend? The act of tying friendship band may look juvenile today but it was the way of letting your friends know that they mean a lot to you. I have always been blessed with good friends and thanks to orkut I have managed to keep in touch with all of them. I am also glad that I took time to write and read this diary, which has rekindled my feelings about friends. No one can imagine a life without friends. Just a phone call from a old friend on your birthday gives u warm feeling inside. That’s the magic of friendship. It’s the joy of our life. All we need to do is keep the joy alive.

With these sweet thoughts I returned back to my present, which was surrounded by mess and had to be cleaned. The box still remains very special to me and I will continue cherishing all my treasures in it all life long.

Untainted Innocence

“You seem like an angel pure and divine, you are the Gods most gorgeous creation one of its kind.”
My little nephew is an epitome of such an angelic creation. He has the ability to fill a room with happiness and joy. The laughter and the giggles he sends symbolize an untainted innocence which touches our heart and makes us want to relive as a child
A child is a bundle of innocence and joy. When a child learns to walk, the walk is unsteady but still he will run carefree, with no fear of falling, no worries of getting knocked down .A child, lives with a free spirit .He has a flawless mind which looks at the world naively. To him the world is full of joy, happiness and beauty.
I believe that every individual should have a child deep within themselves. Everyone should have a self which portrays the innocence of a child and a free spirit. A child which would at times make us want to follow our heart rather than our mind. A child within us which would make us want to undertake risks without the fear of failure. A child which would make us look at the world with innocence and would fill our mind and heart with the love for life . A child who would take us away from the “self” (ego) and make us believe in gentle simplicity. To laugh and giggle like no one is around, to dance and celebrate like no one has ever done before. To be carefree and not to be influenced by others. To be loved and to spread love to others. To live the moment and enjoy it to the fullest.
This is the spirit of a child that is present in each one of us. It is on us to keep the child within us alive and to nurture the innocence and the free spirit of it. I hope everyone does!

Dead Inside

Sitting in a dark room as the darkness blinds me , don’t feel like facing anyone or anything . Submerged in the darkness and falling deep into it . Isolation, withdrawal and low esteem surround me. I have no zeal I have no will, I have no emotions left in me. I have lost my sanity and my will to live The outer world seems hazy and obscure and internal peace and tranquility is shattered to the core.

Delusions of my mind are taking me another world which is so unreal. Mind is extremely is agitated and violent as there is no real world to where it can go. Now thoughts come no more, no grief , no sorrow , hollow mind and soul with no hopes and no desires.

Emptiness in the soul has created a abysmal void which is becoming darker and deeper This emptiness is strangling me . I am struggling to breathe .Trying to survive, but with the last breath it feels as if this is it, the end that I always longed for but it feels even more darker and scary. This is how it feels to be dead inside!

It was just to give vent to my frustration , I am fine.

God Bless You!

Dead end

It was a long lonely way. A narrow road surrounded by thick forests. All alone I kept walking. It seemed endless, as I could see no end, no destination and no person around me. Famished, tired and exhausted, I kept walking. After a long time I saw a man sitting on the road with a parrot. Rightly guessed he was a fortuneteller! Relieved a bit I walked upto him. Before I could ask him anything he told me that I could reach my destination if I took a right way and travelled by sea. So I started my journey by sea. I kept traveling until I was stranded in the middle of the waters trying to find a way out. Confused and scared I sat there with a hope to get somewhere. I cried, pleaded for help but could find noone. At the dawn I reached a shore of an island. Happy, relieved but still confused I got on my feet hoping for a new step. I kept wandering on the island in search of something but I could find nothing. I sat down helpless, when several questions surrounded me. What was I? What was I searching? Where am I going? What can I look back at? What can I look forth at? Questions, questions, questions!! With no answers! I had lost the track of where I was going, lost the track of who I was. Unable to function, my mind was blank. I was walking through a storm. I wanted to run. I needed to run but too exhausted. Unable to walk further, grasping for breath, I collapsed! That’s when I woke up from my dream. I was trying to open my eyes so that light could be seen but it was all dark. I kept myself focused on what was reality but couldn’t tell the difference!

Chaos of Emotions

There are times when you feel insecure,time when we feel lonely and lost,time when we feel that its the end .State of mind in those moments.

Time seems to go on and on .It seems endless.Seems as if there is no brighter side to the darkness that I wallow in.A chaos of emotions spins through my mind and makes me weak.Love, hatred,frustation,guilt all of them whirl around until it becomes too much to bear.Until it completely and totally breaks me down, leaving me hollow inside.Makes me wonder ,"when did I become this ?"The time when my emotions take over me totally and I lose control.I feel lost ,I feel helpless.Too hard to take ,too hard to bear.Alone I wade in tears , submerged in bitterness.Feeling of solitude and despair tearing me apart.Sleepless nights seem to go on forever and ever.Alone I wander in these scary thoughts.I am drowning ...drowning in my own sorrow.Feels terrible ..like a sharp knife cutting through my soul and tearing it apart.Its so difficult to trust ,to have faith again.Feels as if I have lost to reality and still living in time .........................